Ours to Love Read online

  “Sorry, you can’t get rid of us that easy,” Will smirked.

  Ryan gave a small smile before turning to me. “Are you sure?”

  “Positive.” I was enjoying our conversation and getting to know Ryan. No way was I leaving unless he specifically asked me to.

  “Okay, great.” Ryan smiled at the waitress. “Can we have just a minute, please?”

  “Sure, darlin’. Take your time and I’ll be back.” She walked off again, and Ryan picked up his menu.

  “Would you guys want to get some appetizers to split? I like eating a little bit of everything.”

  “That’s what we normally do, too,” I assured him.

  “Cool. So, you won’t judge me for ordering half the menu then?”

  “Trust me,” Will said, leaning back and patting his stomach, “No judgement here. We tend to eat a lot; muscle burns it off quickly.” He wasn’t bragging, it was the truth. We worked hard and burned a lot of calories. If we didn’t eat like horses, our muscles were the first to fade away.

  Ryan’s eyes roamed over both of our bodies slowly. “And there are so many muscles.” As if he just realized his words, he made a little squeak sound and lifted his menu in front of his face. Adorable.

  The waitress came by and took our food order; we got four different appetizers to pick over and share. When she was gone, Ryan unwrapped his straw and stuck it in his cup before pushing it toward Will.

  “We had a deal. Drink up and get ready to fall in love.”

  “You seem pretty confident.”

  “Because it’s amazing. Go on.” He nodded to the cup and watched with an excited smile as Will took a sip. Will swallowed hard and plastered on a smile.

  “It’s…good.”

  “First of all,” Ryan said, pulling back his cup, “You’re a terrible liar. Secondly, you should be ashamed of yourself. That stuff is pure gold.” He slid the glass in front of me. “Come on, Logan, don’t let me down.”

  I definitely did not get a boner over the way my name sounded on his lips. Nope, not at all. I shifted in my seat because of another, non-pathetic reason. I took the straw in my lips and drank down a couple of sips. The flavor was…cherry, maybe? A little spicy and a lot weird. I pushed the glass back to Ryan. “Interesting.”

  “Blasphemy, that’s what it is,” Ryan said, shaking his head. “You two are lucky we already ordered, or I’d ask you to leave.” He stuck his nose in the air and tried to fight the smile tugging at his lips.

  “You’re cute when you pout,” Will insisted.

  Ryan blushed. “And you make it hard to pout when you say things like that. Not fair.”

  “Well, it’s true,” I agreed. “But I’m thinking you’re cute no matter what you’re doing, which makes me wonder why you felt the need to fill out a dating profile in the first place.” It was no business of mine, but Ryan didn’t seem like the type of guy who would have trouble getting asked out.

  “Damn, and you say I’m blunt,” Will scolded beside me.

  “I’m sorry, he’s right. You don’t have to answer that.” Now I felt like an ass.

  “No, it’s okay. I don’t mind telling you if you’re sure you don’t mind hearing my sob story,” Ryan shrugged.

  “We already told you ours,” Will shrugged back.

  “That’s true, you did.” Ryan took a deep breath. “Well, it’s kind of a long story but hang in there and it’ll make sense in the end.” Will and I both nodded. “Okay, so, I was raised by my grandma starting when I was two. My mom and dad got heavy into drugs and lost custody and I never saw them again. I honestly have no memory of them whatsoever. It’s kind of sad, but also my grandma took really good care of me, so it wasn’t a hardship.”

  “But my grandma was really strict. I think she blamed herself for the way my mom turned out or something, and she wanted to make sure I had a better life. Whatever her reasoning, she laid down several rules, and one of them was no dating until I graduated high school. She wanted me to focus on my grades and my future. It kinda sucked, but I understood. Plus, it gave me a lot of time for reflecting and soul searching. I think it was part of the reason I realized I was gay at such a young age, even if I couldn’t go out and explore it. Thank god for the internet, if you get my drift.” Will and I both barked out a laugh.

  “Anyway, I had this fantasy of going out into the world after graduation and getting swept off of my feet by the man who’d waited his whole life for me, just like I’d waited my whole life for him. Unfortunately, shortly after I finished high school, my grandma got really sick. That’s when I took the job at the gas station, to try and come up with extra money to help pay for her treatments. I worked as many hours as I could, and when I wasn’t at work, I was by her side helping her out around the house or taking her to the doctor. I’m not saying this to make myself into some kind of martyr or anything; she’d taken care of me my whole life, so I wanted to do the same for her.” My heart swelled as I listened to his story; at how selfless and wonderful he really was.

  “The next year and a half was a roller coaster; it would look like she was on the mend and then she’d relapse, over and over. She passed away about six months ago. It was bittersweet; she’s not in pain anymore, but I really miss her. In her last few months, the doctors used every treatment and medication imaginable to try to help, but nothing worked, and it racked up a lot of medical bills. I paid what I could with my salary, but I ended up having to sell her house to pay everything off and break even. That was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. She loved that house and it ripped me apart that I couldn’t keep it.”

  Now, Will and I were the ones to reach across the table. We each took one of Ryan’s hands. He took another deep breath to finish his story. “So, in dealing with all of that, not to mention grieving, and having to move out and find an apartment I could afford, the dating fantasy kind of took a backseat. Now that things have settled down, I wanted to get out there and maybe meet someone special, so I made the dating profile online since I wasn’t sure where to start.” He squeezed my hand and I’m assuming Will’s hand before pulling his back into his lap. “Sorry. I know it was a long story, but I didn’t know how to explain things without kinda dumping it all on you.”

  “Thank you for telling us,” I said seriously. “I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that, but it sounds like you and your grandma were very lucky to have each other.”

  “Thank you,” he said softly.

  “Can I ask you a question?” He nodded. “Did your grandma know about your promotion before she passed?”

  Ryan huffed a shaky laugh. “Yeah, I got it a few months before she died. Even though I knew it wasn’t that big of deal, she was so proud; she told all of the nursing staff at the treatment clinic about her manager grandson. I think it took away a lot of her feelings of failing as a parental figure.” That sentiment made me even more angry at the greasy tax man that sat in this booth before me. He would never know how much Ryan had went through in his life, or how much his job – the job he’d completely belittled – had meant to the most important person in Ryan’s life.

  “I’m sure she’s still so proud of you,” Will offered.

  Ryan smiled and looked up at the ceiling blinking rapidly. “Shew.” He shook his head and then looked back across the table at us. “Okay, that got intense. Let’s talk about something else; what do you guys like to do for fun?”

  “We both enjoy outdoorsy stuff,” I answered. Will and I worked together and played together. Some brothers would drive each other nuts being in the other’s space so often, but that had never been an issue for us. Sure, we argued every now and then; we wouldn’t be brothers if we didn’t. And of course, we had a healthy dose of competition between us, but we honestly enjoyed each other’s company.

  “Yeah, camping, fishing, ATV riding,” Will added, “Pretty much anything outside. How about you, Ryan?”

  “I’ve literally never done any of that. I’ve always wanted to fish and to go camping, bu
t I never had anyone to go with me. I loved living with my grandma, but there were certain things she just couldn’t do.” He shrugged with a smile. “Maybe someday. But I like to read and draw, and I love movies.”

  “What’s your favorite movie?” I asked.

  “You might as well as me what’s my favorite bodily organ,” he joked. “I don’t think I could pick just one movie. I can’t even narrow it down to one genre; I love comedies, mysteries, action movies, you name it.”

  “I can easily name my favorite organ,” Will teased with another predatory grin. I kicked him under the table as Ryan blushed furiously.

  The waitress saved us from any awkward moments by delivering the horde of food to our table before leaving us alone again. Just as Ryan was munching on a cheese stick, a shiver rocked his body.

  “Are you cold?” I asked.

  He gave a sheepish smile. “A little, but I’m always cold. I should have brought a jacket with me, but I was nervous and in a hurry, so I forgot.”

  “Here.” I shrugged off my black cotton jacket and offered it to him.

  “Oh, you don’t have to do that-”

  “I want to,” I answered simply. “I’m comfortable without it and I don’t want you to be cold.” Honestly, it wouldn’t have mattered if I was comfortable or not.

  “Thank you. I appreciate it.” He smiled and pulled on the way-too-big jacket. Just before I reached for a chicken wing, I saw Ryan surreptitiously sniff the collar and close his eyes momentarily. He went back to his cheese stick without a word.

  “So, what’s this condition you have that makes you cold all of the time?” Will asked around a mouthful of chicken. I shot him an irritated look, but he only shrugged. “What? We already copped to listening in on his conversation earlier. I’m curious.”

  Ryan laughed and shook his head. “You guys are something else, you know that?”

  “Sorry,” Will and I both said, hanging our heads.

  Ryan chuckled again. “I didn’t say it was a bad thing.” He sat his half-eaten cheese stick down and wiped his fingers on a napkin. “So, it all started when I was about fourteen. The coldness would come on kind of like attacks – my hands and feet would get like ice to the touch and even turn blue sometimes. Usually, heavy socks and gloves or a warm shower took care of it. When it started happening more often, my grandma said it was because I didn’t have any meat on my bones, so she tried to cure me with her cooking.” He laughed with a shake of his head. “Turns out, even grandma’s chicken and dumplings couldn’t fix the problem. After a year or so without improvement, she took me to the doctor. Come to find out, it’s a problem with my actual blood vessels.”

  “That sounds serious,” Will said, looking concerned.

  “It could be,” Ryan explained, “Sometimes people have it as a secondary problem to something bigger, but I’m lucky. I just have funky vessels. I don’t even have to take medication for it or anything. They just spasm, especially when I’m stressed out or it’s chilly out. Over the years, the attacks came less often and now I tend to just stay colder than everyone else most of the time. Besides the occasional leg cramps I get from it, it’s not that bad, and it’s actually a bit of a relief in the summertime.”

  “I think you’ve got the best attitude of anyone I’ve ever met,” I gushed. I instantly regretted every time I moaned and groaned over a case of the sniffles.

  Ryan shrugged. “So many people have it way worse than me. I’m not gonna feel sorry for myself; besides, I have an excuse to wear big comfy sweaters and fuzzy socks.” He beamed before stuffing a potato skin in his mouth.

  While we ate, we talked about anything and everything. We covered topics like music (Will and I were country boys at heart, while Ryan leaned more toward pop), food (Ryan liked pretty much everything, except mushrooms; I said I hated mustard and bleu cheese, and Will had yet to find a food he didn’t enjoy), and favorite ice cream flavors (we were all in agreement here – chocolate).

  When the food was gone and our bellies were full, Ryan wiped his hands on his napkin again. “I’m gonna run to the restroom really quick before she brings the check. I’ll be right back.”

  I shamelessly watched his tight little ass as he walked away. Once he was out of earshot, I sighed. “He’s wonderful.”

  “He is,” Will agreed. “I’m gonna ask him out.”

  “Like hell you are. I’m asking him out.”

  “No way. He obviously likes me better.”

  “You’re obviously insane,” I snapped back.

  “He wants me.”

  “You think everyone wants you!”

  “Yeah, my dick, but Ryan wants more. I feel a connection between us.”

  “I can feel a connection too, asshole.” Will and I stared at each other through narrowed eyes until I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. “What are we gonna do?”

  “We’ll both ask him out,” Will offered as if it was most obvious thing in the world.

  “What?”

  “Yeah. And if we don’t scare him off completely, he can tell the one of us he doesn’t want to fuck off.” I could hear the pain in his voice at the thought it could be him that got left behind.

  “And what happens in the off chance he says he wants to date both of us?”

  “Would that be so bad? We’ve done it before.”

  “No, we’ve fucked the same guy before; big difference.” We’d hooked up with a couple of different guys before at a club downtown who were interested in a three-way. The fact that we were brothers seemed even more intriguing to them. Will and I weren’t bothered; we were comfortable around each other and had zero qualms about sharing a man we didn’t give two shits about beyond getting off. But this situation didn’t seem as easy.

  “Fine,” Will shrugged, “Our only other option is for neither of us asking him out.”

  “Oh, fuck that.” The connection I felt with Ryan was real, and after having known him exactly two hours, the thought of walking away and never seeing him again was heart wrenching.

  “Exactly,” Will agreed.

  “And you’d really be okay if he decides he’d like to see us both again?”

  “Only one to find out. Besides, Mom always taught us to share.”

  “You’re a pig.”

  “I just hope Ryan likes my sausage,” he teased, bouncing his brows.

  I scrunched up my face at the crass statement. “Oh, good lord.”

  Ryan returned to the booth and climbed in as Will was still chuckling at himself.

  “Hey Ryan,” I hedged, trying to figure out the best way to bring it up, “Will and I have a question for you.”

  “Sure.” He looked on with a bright, beautiful smile.

  “Are you interested in both of us?” Will asked in the most clumsy, terrible way I could imagine.

  Ryan’s smile faded and a look of panic took over his face. Fuck, there went our shot. Way to go, Will. I was about to apologize and explain when Ryan began speaking quickly.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to be so obvious. I wasn’t trying to offend you or weird you guys out. That’s totally weird though, isn’t it? It’s just that you both are so handsome and were so nice to me. Oh god, I’m probably making it worse. I should go.” He removed my jacket and tossed it across the table. “I’m sorry I made everything weird.”

  Ryan stood up and I jumped in, saying “No, no no!” at the same time Will was begging, “Wait!”

  “Please don’t go,” I said, leaping from the booth to stand in front of Ryan. He let me usher him back into the booth although he still looked nervous and ready to bolt. “That was a terrible way to ask.” I glared daggers at Will. “But I promise, we’re not offended; we’re flattered. We were hoping you’d like to see us again.”

  “Like a date,” Will cleared up.

  “We? As in…a date…with both of you?” Will and I both nodded. “And this isn’t a trick? I saw you laughing when I came back to the table. If this is a joke…” Ryan trailed off and stared a
t the table. It broke my heart that he thought we could be messing with him.

  Will must have felt the same way, because in a very gentle, un-Will-like move, he reached across the table and ran his hand down Ryan’s arm until his hand covered Ryan’s. “It’s not a trick, I promise. I was laughing at something stupid I said; I’m a dumbass, so it happens a lot.” He gave a little smile and Ryan copied it. “We really would like to see you again, sweetheart.”

  Maybe it was the pet name, maybe it was the sincerity in Will’s voice, but something convinced Ryan, because he nodded slowly as he looked between the two of us before finally saying, “I’d like that, too.”

  I took a quick peek at Will to find he was smiling as big as I was. Then, a plan hit me from left field. “How about we all meet up for dinner later this week? That will give you time to make a list of any questions or concerns you have. When we meet up, we’ll go over everything and make sure we iron out something we’re all comfortable with.”

  Will looked at me like I was speaking another language. “It’s a date, not hostage negotiations.” I stared at him with my mouth squished up into an angry line until Ryan spoke up.

  “Actually, I really like that idea. I’ve got questions already and I’m sure I’ll think of plenty more.” He turned his attention to my brother. “Is that okay with you, Will?”

  “Of course,” he answered quickly. “I think it’s a great idea. Whatever makes you happy.”

  I internally rolled my eyes. Of course, it’s a good idea when someone else besides his brother wants it.

  “Good. Thank you,” Ryan sighed. “I like having a plan and getting everything figured out. Also, I want you both to know I’m honest and open and will answer any questions you have for me, too.”

  I had no doubts; the man had already revealed so much of himself to us in the short time we’d known him. “Thank you. Honesty means the world to me,” I offered.

  “To both of us,” Will chimed in.

  “Me too.” Ryan smiled shyly. “So…does meeting up Wednesday work for you guys?”

  “Absolutely,” I agreed immediately. I didn’t care what I had to rearrange; I’d make this happen. “Is pizza okay?”